A Thin Red line

This post is about a person whom i used to meet almost everyday on my way to college. No, he is not know to me, and i never did bother to find out about him. I could have if I wanted to, but I havent tried so far. But he does have a gravitational pull around him, which is due to his attribute of speech. It is on a bus that i see him, everyday, almost sitting at the same place each day, with almost unfailing regularity. He has a pleasant face with a curved mustache,a typical charachteristic of a south indian. His mannerisms arent what one would call as gentle. He has a grotesque way of presenting himself. Perhaps that was one which made me look towards him for the first time.

He speaks usually of his days at Army and at New Delhi. Plus he is extremely repetitive, because, unfortunately his co-passengers are never the same. Perhaps, they might even avoid sitting near him after listening to his heroic extempore once. His speeches include, as I said, about his army experiences and his heroics. He says that he can shoot as well as any olympic gold medallist and in fact better than them. He then goes on to say the story of how he managed to down a wild fox from quite a distance. I always used to think
Either this fellow is as good as he claims to be or the saying "as wise as fox" is false

The fox must have been stupid enough to get killed by this character !!! And he is usually returned with a sarcastic smile each day, yet he manages to say the same stuff to some poor unfortunate guy, who in his ignorance manages to sit beside him.

But his words and more importantly his tone of speech made me think of somthing more imortant. I used to take his speech as "trumpet blowing" and him as a conceited person. But then a thought intrigued me, what exactly is the difference between Ego/conceit and self respect. Self respect does not stop with the respect that u carry in others' eyes. It also stands for your admiration of your own abilities. Whats wrong in respecting and stating your own superior abilities ???

Let me move on to a detail analysis of self respect. It has to understood that self respect has a braoder scope than what is usually asoociated with the word. If a person says that
I am good, I can do that, I am confident of that, Thats too easy for me, I ll do it better than many around

These words are often despised by most of us. We immediately brand him as ignorant and arrogant. And what if he does manage to stand by what he claimed ? We immediately say He's good . But whats the use ? He is too conceited. I was no exception to the thought. I had branded many a people as a conceited fellow. But now, as i come to think of it, I feel that i was too hasty. Too much bad influence from the surroundings.I now begin to feel strongly that proclaiming your achievements and capabilities to others arent exactly bad.

Come to think of ego or conceit. Theres not much difference between ego and self respect. These are in fact separated by a thin line. What i say might not be true or could be corrugated facts... but hell !! its my blog and I can write what i feel... So coming to my thoughts on that.. The difference is very minute. When one says "I can do it" it can be his self respect. But when he says "I alone can do it" it shifts a bit to become Ego. Again " I can do better than X " it shifts marginally into the self respect spectra. " I wont allow anyone else to do it" and "I cant bear others doing it" goes into the Ego domain.

Hey, able to spot any demarcation ?? well, I am trying hard not to be influenced by my prejudice. Perhaps this is what Ayn rand has been regularly mentioning when she says about the people of the "mind", the capable ones who run the society by virtue to their merit and demand the respect they thoroughly deserve.This discussion has stemmed from the fellow at the bus, prolly I should thank him when i see him in the bus tomorrow. He did give me a tough proposition to work on. In fact i am now looking forward to meet him tomorrow .....